Nerly Erviona; evewitink iie do, iie do it for euu.

If these are His challenges, aku redha.

2011-04-07T19:52:00.001-07:00

Hello, people.

I've been crying this two days and I have not sleep that well. Believe it or not I slept for only 2hours! Samsi asked for breakup. Yes, BREAKUP. It's between me and him, but he'll make it official once his problems are settled. I wish that day will not come.

I really love him. I really need him in my life. I've given all my heart to him. I tried my best to be the best for him. All I do now is cry. And I know, even how bad I cried, he'll not change his mind. I hope he will. Amin!

Updated!

2011-04-06T00:41:00.001-07:00

Hi, people! Yeah, it's been a long time since I last blog my post. Well, I has a lot to share. Where should I start?

Let me start with myself. Well, I am now on 10days MC due to Acute Pelvic Inflammatory Infection. But I will report back to work really soon. Yeah, I am still working at Global Child Development Center as a Teacher. I really miss my children. Especially my Playgroup and Nursery One. And yes, I am still waiting for the Patient Social Associates staff to call me. I'm on tender for a month now.

Now, let me share about my Fiancee. We're still learning from each other. More about family, relatives, friends. Recently I've been having problems with his family. Especially his Mum. I don't know where to start. But it seems like the problem will never end. His mum has a lot of god-children. And most of the girls are Samsi's ex-girlfriend. Who expects Samsi's birthday surprise celebration that I planned, his mum invited his ex after I went home..?? Gosh! And I just get to know yesterday when it happened about 2 months ago. Samsi did not even tell me that his ex came. How disappointing and upsetting. Things are better for now. I just do not want to accelerate more. I'm afraid I might lose him.

Next, about my family. Well, Aiman is now coming 3 years old! Fast, huh? *laugh*. He's now able to understand and follow instructions, has a good eye-hand coordination, good gross motor skills and able to communicate well with people around him. His favorite friend is Samsi! Samsi pampered him a lot. I'm trying to let Aiman try to do fine motor skills. I've brought some markers, crayons and color pencils for him to grip and draw whatever he wants. He's doing it well, though. He's such a fast-learner.

*thinking*. Guess I continue watching The Little Nyonya on YouTube. Will update again soon! (:

2010-11-08T15:45:00.000-08:00

Ira is the one at the center.

Heylo people! Yesterday weather was fine but it was really dark when I just end my shift at 1900hrs. BabyChinta didn't text me like how he used to be. It's not that he has changed, but he just started his new career. So, everything will be new especially his working time and his environment. I hope I can deal with this. I admit, I was pampered by him too much.

I texted him when I ended work. I told him that I would be meeting Ira at Tampines. Ira was late, so I spent my precious time in the Library. I did an enquiry about my Library Card. Ira and me had our late dinner at the Big MacDonalds. I really miss this lil'girlfriend of mine! Then BabyChinta came. He looked shag. Pity him.

I wanted to tell him about what my Supervisor said to Teacher Sapiah, but I didn't have the courage to do so. Nevermind. Let it be. If you people think of taking advantage of Samsi and me, by all means. Just wait for the time for me to speak my mind up, okay?

2010-11-07T15:33:00.000-08:00

Hi, people. Okay, I don't remember when was the last time I post my blog. I just update what happened yesterday, okay?

Well, yesterday my family and me went to Cik Midah's house to have some offerings functions. She's going to Hajj on the November 11, 2010. I'm happy for her. At least she got the "calling" from God already and she's fully prepared mentally and physically. Alhamdulillah.

BabyChinta went to wedding function with his family just behind Cik Midah's house. At first he wanna wait for my function to end, then he'll meet me. But I was so frustrated that I told him off. He turned up at last. *giggle*.

I read his Mum's messages, telling us to be fair towards families. For me, guys have to be with girls' family more than girls because if a girl always at a guy's place (even though with his family around), it doesn't show good expression to the girl. We're Malay Muslims. Even though we're in a modern century, we still have our bothers when comes to serious relationship and we want the guy to be our husband. You understand what I mean? Well, I sometimes don't have the respect for "her" as she celebrated her Hari Raya Aidilfitri even before she got engaged to Abang Didi. Isn't it shows that she doesn't make her family the first priority? And did I ever tell you that his Mum was comparing Yati and me about this, yet she sides Yati for this?? Yes, she did! I was so disappointed with his family.

I did tell him that I prefer Azmil's family. I really miss Mama Zaiton's and Papa Azman's sincere love and care for me. My family and his family doesn't interrupt my relationship with Azmil. They do at times, but they advices us in good manner and with careful words so that we will not be hurt. I miss those times, but I honestly have moved on. Things are different now. I have to get the fact that even how bad and cruel his Mum towars me, she is still gonna be my Mum-In Law in a couple year of time. I hope she'll realised and change. I doesn't hope that she'll come to me and apologise but at least have a talk with me about this, rather that she giving bad comments and compliments about me to BabyChinta and humilate me in front of their relatives.

BabyChinta and me went to karaoke at Grandlink since it was raining. The weather is bad nowadays. And I keep having running nose that leads me to have my Asthma Attack the first thing in the morning. Look how troubled my life is? But still I say, "Alhamdulillah."

I hope Cik Midah will have a safe journey back and forth. Insya'Allah. Amin.

2010-11-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

Heylo people! I feel better now. Maybe due to the extra love and careful actions that my BabyChinta give me after what had happened. Yes, the scar is still there even though it's not bleeding anymore.

But I felt the pain again yesterday when I followed his family to Tanjong Katong Complex. I don't wanna elaborate. All I could say is, "Stop comparing Yati and me because we 're way, way, way far different person with different background of family, different attitudes, different behaviours, different complexion, different colout tone, different voice, different way we lead out lives, different way we treat our husbands-to-be and more!"

And you don't have the rights to do that to me too. Your sons and daughter are not the perrrrrfect people. No one is. And please stop pointing fingers on me and thinking that I am a very, very bad future daughter-in law to you because I will prove you wrong one day.

2010-10-31T16:23:00.000-07:00

After months of not meeting him, I get to see him in front of my eyes yesterday at East Coast! What a speechless thing that happened! I was mending my heart alone, doing the reflective thinking on what had happened to my relationship, what will happen next and what will I do or react.

I don't wanna elaborate more about that problem. I just don't wanna be the reason why again and what his family did to me really get to my nerves. Enough of the comparing between Yati & me, keep saying "Yelah.. Kalau tk sudi, tak apa." because you are being hypocrite, and keep thinking that your children are perfect. You even assumed that I texted you that night and claimed that your children don't do such thing. How cruel and heartless my future mum-in law, right? Now, I nearly gonna lose my future man. It's been about 29hours now since I last see him and that moment was the momeriable ones. I really miss him.

I remembered my girls used to advice me that if a guy returns back to hold your heart, he is your forever. Will he come back? I don't know, I don't have the answer. But I'm hoping high that he will, because he said I am the reason why he smiled and he falls in love again. I love him too much. Please, Samsi, do come back to me. I miss you.

2010-10-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

Nothing much happens yesterday. Just waiting for the clock to strikes 0800hrs, before I can proceed to work. I miss my BabyChinta! (:

2010-10-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

I just get myself ready to go to work. I woke up at 0645hrs. BabyChinta fetched me after work and we went to have our dinner at Beach Road. After so long, right? I know! *laugh*. But who expect us to have a misunderstanding when we were on the bike, on the way there?? Yes, we did! The hold journey I did not hold his waist. I tried myself to balance. I was so hurt with his words. All because of what? Because of Muzakir and Najel! But more to Muzakir. I find it hard now, Chinta. Is it wrong for me to be honest that he texted me?? *sigh*. But all went okay when we were about to eat. Maybe it's true. An angry man is a hungry man. Or is it a hungry man is an angry man?? I can't remember. *laugh*. So, after meal, we went to Haji Lane to slack at his friend's shop. Then we went home. He was thinking too much to ask me weird questions.

Chinta: "Kalau satu hari kita mati, who will be the first one awak cari?"
Myself: "My family. I need their full supports."
Chinta: "Will you still keep in touch with Mak?"
Myself: "Of course! Awak takmo cakap macam gini lah. Kalau awak da takda, sapa nak jaga kita? Kalau kita betol pregnant, sapa nak jaga baby kita dua and myself? Sapa nak tanggung kita dua? And sapa nak kasi kita dua pure love from a husband and a father to our baby? *tears rolling*."
Chinta: *tears in his eyes and kissed my forehead*.

I love my BabyChinta. Don't take him away from me, GOD. I still got long way to go with him and I wanna share my life with him.

2010-10-25T16:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am still feeling shag after not enough sleep and busy doing my assignment. Luckily, now it's done. I slept at 2300hrs yesterday and woke up at 0630hrs. Poor BabyChinta have to sleep by himself yesterday as I did not wait for him to reach home. I was supper tired. I'm sorry, Chinta! But overall, I love him.

2010-10-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am finally done with my Assignment paper works on Teacher-Child Interactions. Now, the things I have to complete is to print them out and burn my video to a Compact Disc before I can hand in to the Seed Institute latest by 2100hrs. Guess what time I did this assignment? I woke up at 0530hrsm get myself ready and switched on the computer, when actually I start working at 1000hrs today!

I can't afford to do it yesterday as I followed BabyChinta to his team escort from Batin's house, to Sims Drive and we off to Bukit Panjang. I did not know who did not shower yesterday as it was raining cats and dogs when we were on the road to Bukit Panjang. I was wearing the team cutting shirt, which is white in color, and you know what will happen when it's wet, don't you? I saw Hidayah(Kecik), Sutinah(FLTC), the uncle who I used to took care of his late mum when I was still in Nursing and Yana(Aizat's ex-girlfriend). I manage to take some pictures and above are those. Overall, I had so much fun and I feel part of the family.

After escort, BabyChinta and me spent our time together and we went to have our dinner at Simpang Bedok. Then we went to karaoke at Grandlink. My voice sucks big time nowadays as I am starting to get well from URTI. But my BabyChinta's voice is still the best.

2010-10-20T05:22:00.000-07:00

Our lives are upside-down, twisted and torn.
Pain running so deep through our veins.
I just wanted you to know right now, that
You have always had the best of me.

Honesty is the knife that will heal us.
Suffering the narrow road we must take.
Loving me has never been more difficult.
I know the healing seems so far away...

I wonder will you leave for what I did.
Aching tears and indescribable regret.
No prayer suffices to ease this fear.
I long for you to stay here.

No more betrayal, no matter the circumstance.
I want only you to have all of me.
You truly are the best of everything.
You really always have been, you will always be.

I'm sorry for what had happened. I'll never repeat and I'll try my very best to regain back the trust that we have lost. I love you.. always, Samsi.

2010-10-20T04:16:00.000-07:00

Heylo people! I just got home from watching movie with Aizzah and Hanisah. We watched "The Child's Eye". Actually I don't really get the storyline, because it got nothing to do with eyes. It got to do something with dogs. So yeah. Here I am updating my post, while listening to Daddy's nagging about BabyChinta got our house keys. -.-'

Congratulation to Hidayah Umarhattapu.

2010-10-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

I'm home! I was so stress about my assignment date line till I forgotten when was it. *laugh*. Luckily I just SMS-ed Teacher Linda to confirm and she said on October 22, 2010. I got 3 more days to do it. But still nothing has been done. -.-'

Well, I just got back from Kandang Kerbau Hospital. I visited Kak Ida with Aizzah, Baby Aiman and Nenek. BabyChinta is working tonight, but he'll coming to my house later after work. I really miss him! *kening naik-naik*. Kak Ida successfully delivered a babygirl. Wan and herself named their child Keisha Erina. I don't know how they spell it, but they pronounce it as that.

I am now on the phone with BabyChinta, lots of things to share. Will update more. (:

2010-10-18T20:01:00.000-07:00

During Our Engagement Day.
I vowed you my love from the day we start till the day GOD takes my breath away.
I love you.

191010, 1021hrs; Asthma Attack!

2010-10-18T19:18:00.000-07:00

Heylo people!
I know it's been awhile I last post my online diary. So little time yet so many things to type about. Yes, I am still with Samsi and we're engaged now! When? You don't have to know because you're not being invited. *laugh*. Kidding. It's just a small ceremony when I didn't expect it will be my "BIG" day.

*thinking*. Where should I start? Seriously I got lots of things to tell you people. My relationship wise, I'm totally not gonna share with you. That's for sure. *wink*. Sorry, but it's for my relationship's honor.

Let me start with my dance. For your info, I start my Malay Dancing back. Now, I am finding girls and guys to join me. Eiffah Daisy and me have named ourselves: Puteri Aliya. Where do we get the name? Simple! "Puteri" because we're the main girls who form the group. "Aliya" means beautiful. Besides that, "ALI" comes from Eiffah's name. And "LIYA" comes from my name. So we combine them up! Taa-daa! *giggle*.

Problems are everywhere, it's only the matter how you manage them. Eiffah and me did! We had problems finding the steps to complete the whole song, I can't memorize the dance steps at first, I was paranoid with NanaShawty's attitudes, I was stressed with the date line, we were last minute renting the costumes and props. But at last, we did it! Wanna see us dancing? As easy as ABC! Go to YouTube, type out our group name and you can find our video there.

I guess I have to end here. I got assignment to do. Tomorrow is the date line yet I have not start anything! Gosh! Toodles. (:

130910, 2105hrs; I get over you already.

2010-09-13T06:03:00.000-07:00

Hey people! For those who doesn't know anything about me recently, let me tell you that I am no longer with Zakhil nor Rizal. I am now with Samsi Samad.

From where I know this Samsi Samad?

Well, you don't know what happened to me on my birthday. I get to know him through my Uteh. They're working in the same Pest Control company and they're really goodfriends. It's an unexpected thing lah actually. Basically, we have known each other's family and we are doing fine.

We're now planning to be in a further relationship but I don't wanna get engaged. For me, I rather get married straight than to get engaged first as both parties will waste more money and time on engagement and more challenges will come. I don't wanna take the risks.

I <3>

040710, 1833hrs; Jamiyah Carnival at Darul Ma'wa Children Home.

2010-07-04T03:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am really exhausted. My legs are aching. This is what I call charity work. The Jamiyah Association is doing this carnival to help out the children in Darul Ma'wa. I woke up at 0630hrs and papa sent Mama and me to the carnival. We have to reach there at 0800hrs, but Mama, Papa, Kasturi and me went to have our breakfast at Eunos Crescent first. *giggle*.

I was quite pissed off with my senior teacher early in the morning when we were about to start to sell our ice cream. They were all forcing me to use this clown wig on my head. What?? Do i look like a clown to all of you..?? That's not why I was pissed off. The reason is the way they forced me. Then the way she said, "You don't wanna put that on, then you don't respect me. I don't want to talk to you anymore and don't want to friend with you."

What the hell..??!

Please lah, my hardworking senior teacher. You're making me like a fool. Then the situation was cold awhile. But I just continue taking customers to get their ice creams. Then Teacher Diyanah put that wig on, then me, then Teacher Yani. But they just put that on for an hour. After Teacher Yani, guess who put that wig on till about 1400hrs?? Yes, ME, MYSELF AND I! Till the guys there keep taking pictures of me. But I feel good at last. I make fun of them too. *evil smile*.

By the way' guess who I saw and took pictures with? Hydir, Zakbatian, Liyanna, Fendi, Yat, Aishah Tarian, Aliff Aziz (so typical! I just say, "Hi".), KC, Fiza-O and Zul OP. It's funny when the Jamiyah Business School guys keep laughing when their eyes met mine. I know they're laughing due to my wig. Then my family came. I "ran" away with Wahidah then I get to know our ice creams have sold out! I was relieved by then.

Then I slacked awhile. Had a chat with Mama. Talked about Zakhil. It's been so long now.. 3 weeks total. I don't know what's my status. Yes, Rizal and me are getting along well back. I started to sleepover at his house already now on every weekend. I thought of going to Fifi's house later and sleep over there as Rizal is taking off tomorrow. It's Youth Day! (:

I'll update again some other time, okay? I miss Zakhil. I don't know where he is, what is he doing. *sigh*.

290610, 2122hrs; i miss you.

2010-06-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hey. I am on the phone now with Rizal. We're trying to solve things out. Now, he put down the phone just like that. If only I could turn back the time..

Yeah, I passed my practicum! *smile*. The smile doesn't come long when I start to think about Zakhil again. It makes my heart bloomed when I tried my luck calling him. He answered with his sleepy voice. How much I miss those days when I woke him up and the memories passed by when I woke in the morning, he was there hugging me.

I'm sorry, to whom it may concern. I know I've hurt you. I didn't mean to. You know what will happen later. It's only me who is confused. Because of how he treated me now, I am in total dilemma. I need him, but you were there for me.. always.

This "always" word really hurt me. Because it reminds me of him.. The beautiful sentences he sang melodiously on my ears, makes my heart skips a beat. I need an answer from him. Please, God, listen to my prayers. Show me who's the one for me. I just need an answer and I will be with him forever. I miss you.. But i hate you for doing this to me.

270610, 2027hrs; Dilemma

2010-06-27T05:28:00.000-07:00

Hey people. I'm back again. Yes, I am having this major problem. I think I have to honest now with my relationship condition. Zack and me have not been meeting each other since June 12th and he seldom reply my messages and never make the first move to contact me now. I find it unfair. He leaves this relationship hanging. If he doesn't love me anymore, then why keep me?

For your informat5on, he still place himself in a relationship status at Tagged and my pictures are still in his front page. You may think I'm thinking too much, he might be very busy with his career and life, maybe he got problems etc. But is it fair for me..? Think.

Rizal has been there for me since this problem occur. We cannot blame Rizal for this, because Zack doesn't appreciate me anymore. All Zack did now is scolding me and giving me insults. Rizal always give me useful advices and encourage me to be strong. I thought Zack was the pillar of my strength. I repeat, I thought!

I don't know what's in my mind now. All I could think about is my practicum. Tomorrow will be my Supervisor second visit at my childcare centre to observe how I conduct my lesson. OMG! I'm gonna conduct Music & Movements. Easier, right? Hopefully everything will be back to normal. I don't wanna be in dilemma! It scares me.. Really.

2010-06-25T01:05:00.000-07:00

To that someone on that picture who read my blog without me knowing,

Two separate lives brought together
Our love and friendship shared forever.
The laughs, the love, even some tears
Were planned to be spent all our years.

Then one day things fell apart,
And time and hurt pulled at our heart.
"Together always," were words only said;
And reality was, it was all in our head.

But through it all, we truly shine;
It will be you and me till the end of time.
"I love you always," will now be said
and a great friendship waits ahead.

250610, 1527hrs; R.I.P Tokngah

2010-06-25T00:45:00.000-07:00

Hie people. I woke up in the morning and I phoned Didi. Then I off to bed again. I miss my Hubby BabyChinta. Just got the feelings the miracle is not there anymore to him. As for me, I do still hoping he'll realize what he had done to me now and be a better boyfriend. All I get from him are scoldings. No more loving words and meet ups. What more can I say about affections? Everything depends on him now. I seriously miss the old times we used to spent and cherished. Now, you making things worst for us. I really miss you, Zakhil.

170610, 2045hrs; Always.

2010-06-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

Heylo people! Long time didn't hear from me, huh? Got miss me or not? *laugh*. Well, I miss my blog, my Tagged and my FB! Sorry for not updating. I've been really busy since I started working as a Teacher. Things are very different now.

Between me and Zack, we're still together. Even though we seldom meet each other now, I never fail to text him my whereabouts and to know how he is doing for the day. We're still madly in love even though there are so many problems here and there. We just treat it as challenges. Did I tell you about Zack's plan?? Yeah, we're planning to go for further relationship. Understand or not? Pray hard for us, okay? *giggle*.

Well, I'm going to start my Fundamental course next week. I hope I'll pass and get the certificate in Early Childhood. I'm just worried about my attendance. You know, I know lorr! *laugh*. Kk. I wanna check my FB and Tagged now. Will update again maybe in a month time? Hehe. Jangan marah lah..

060510, 2042hrs; KL!

2010-05-06T05:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Johor Bahru,
my boyfriend and me will meet you tomorrow for 2 days 1 night!
At last I have a holiday trip with my loved ones even though for a night.
This brain of mine is about to crack if I am still stuck with career and school!
Hope this holiday will be the most memorial ones.

290410, 2144hrs; Everything I do, I do it for you and your family.

2010-04-29T06:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was over! I am not going to elaborate what happened yesterday. Such a really bad day, I should say, with Zakhil and my family. Don't get me wrong. Zakhil and my family are both in different stories. That's all I have to say.

Well, today everything seems to be back to normal. It's only that Mama is trying to put things back. What do I care? Wanna say I don't love my mum? Which child do not? I do, but just hard to please her. I end work at 1700hrs and took 168 to Bedok, to meet Sarah. We did our lesson plan quickly and she accompanied me to have my dinner at Bedok Interchange. I had Mee Hongkong. And guess who I saw? Mannto! *laugh*. It's been so long since I met this exboyfriend's cousin. Sarah complimented him as cute. Yeah, he is. But too young for her. *laugh*.

Then I took 69 home. I am busy texting texting Zakhil, planning about tomorrow's planning to have dinner at Razack Restauran @ Changi Road. I can't remember when was the last time I ate there but I know that place since the day I worked at Javanese Authentic Traditional Massage and Spa as a Receptionist.

I can't wait for tomorrow, meeting my BabyChinta. Ayah Rasidi will be fetching us. And yes, I am nervous but I have to put everything aside for our love. I remembered Zakhil message asking me, "Sampai bila Baby nak macam gini, Sayang? Bila lagi Baby taknak kenal-kenal dengan Ayang punya family?"

I was like, "Okay. Now is the time, I guess. I give it a try just for Zakhil. I do this because I love him". I told myself that. And I really mean my words.

270410, 2037hrs; -.-'

2010-04-27T05:34:00.000-07:00

I hate my still-beating-me father!

230410, 2119hrs; I loove my Hubby BabyChinta!

2010-04-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

It's so surprising after Aqmal told me about his relationship problem. I did not expect this things will happen between them, even though they're still together. Just be strong, brother. I know you can stay long with her. Maybe it's karma. I don't know. I just say.. Karma.

I met BabyChinta under his void-deck after work. He's ready to work and paid my taxi fare and we went to have our dinner at MacDonalds @ Afghanistan. Then we met Abang Khalid and his other Sepak Takraw friends at 305 court. I'm now in their Sepak Takraw family. And I love them! I have already lay my caring heart towards them, especially Abang Khalid and Kak Maya. Then we cabbed home and he off to work.

&&of course I loove my BabyChinta! He's working till Monday morning at 0800hrs. I am missing him badly now. I can't be far away from you, Chinta.

180410, 1059hrs; Flu or Running Nose?

2010-04-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

I just wake up. The first thing I did was check my cellphone. I really miss my boyfriend. I am going to watch my friends playing soccer today at Bedok North.

I had so much fun yesterday with the Jamiyah Childcare Centre staffs. They had a pit and I was invited. It was running cats and dogs! And now I am sick. By the way, we played 3 games; Tug-A-War, Water-Bomb and Dog-And-Bone. And my team won! Teacher Jehan was there too with her husband and two kids; Hannah Sofea and Siti Sarah.

I reached home yesterday at about 2300hrs. Mama, Papa and me cabbed home. Too tired to elaborate more. And yeah, I have applied my unpaid leave on the May 07, 2010. Teacher Jehan told me to take the form on Monday. Yeay!! I am going Kuala Lumpur with Zakhil this time!

160410, 2024hrs; Happy Belated Birthday Daniel!

2010-04-16T05:21:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 0615hrs and get ready to work. Nope, I was not late as today I changed shift with Laoshe from 0830hrs to 1800hrs with 30mins overtime. I ate a lot today; Pita with Curry and a bowl of Maggi Curry! I will gain weight back, I tell you! *laugh*.

Today, as usual Gabriel will cry when I am not around him. That spoil baby boy student of mine! Kim Yu is H1N1 positive and poor me have to do spring cleaning alone for my classroom. I sort out all the toys, wash them, clean the tables and chairs, the cubbyholes, the teacher's cupboards, sweep the floor, mop it, clear all the dust, disinfected all the teddy bears and dry the toys. Diyanah went to Teacher Linda's class with the students. Luckily Aunty Fauziah helped me out too.

Zakhil fetched me after work and we went to have our dinner at MacDonalds Admiralty. Then we cabbed back to Tampines as he is already late for work again! I just want my boyfriend to be disciplined. I don't ask for much. I love him and I want him to be like my father. Okay, I wanna check my FB anf Tagged! Take care people.

120410, 1308hrs; In-Out from the Toilet.

2010-04-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

This is already the 7th times I went to the toilet to poop! Oh my God. I need the toilet in a jiffy once I can feel the hurts on my tummy.

I am now waiting for Zakhil to get ready and send to the clinic near my house. I did went to work earlier but was told to go home.

I am going to take my assignments later from Mama at her workplace and maybe going Bugis to survey my digital camera charger, if my tummy is okay.

I have to go to school, to hand in my assignment which is due today. Then at night, I am following Zakhil to his Takraw training, if I manage. Today he is not working. Okay, I need the toilet again! The 8th time now!!

100410, 2042hrs; Retreat for Maulidur Rasul

2010-04-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

Guess who came when my lift door opened?? Cik Ripin and his family! Oh how much I miss them! If I am not wrong, the last time I meet them was about 10-13years back. Yeah, I can still remember them. They were my all-time supporters when I karaoke at any events during my childhood time.

Today was my Saturday shift. I worked till 1400hrs and Teacher Rahimah, Teacher Sapiah, Aunty Fauziah as well as me have to rush to our HeadQuarter at Geylang Lorong 12, to have our retreat for Maulidur Rasul. We had Nasi Bryani Dam and yes, I get to meet those ex-convicts uncles again. They still remember my name. I was so touched.

I met Zakhil at Tampines MRT Station after that. We went back to our house as Zakhil told me to change my bag. Then we went out. We talked about lots of things and I ended up crying. I am just too afraid. Things may turn sour if we did not take good care of each other's feelings and hearts. He dried my tears and kissed my forehead when I cried are good enough for me. At least I know that he really care for me.

Seems like almost every day we have been meeting. But not tomorrow as he is working the whole day and I got to follow my family to two wedding places at Woodlands and Yishun. Will update again soon! Take care.

2010-04-09T06:26:00.000-07:00

I'll tell it rather simply;
I'll say it plain and true-
A single thing is all I want
And all I want is you.

There are no other riches,
No treasures or possessions
That ever could compare with you,
My fondest of obsessions.

You are the very air I breathe,
The ration that sustains me.
You're all my thoughts tied up as one,
The laugh that entertains me.

You're all that life need ever give,
The maximum that's due.
If I could ask for anything,
I'd only ask for you.

090410, 2032hrs; Zoo Trip.

2010-04-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

I reached work at about 5mins before 0800hrs. Then I changed all my students to their diapers, before they had their breakfast and off to Singapore Zoological Garden. It was so exhausting. I was entitled to take care of Wan Chee, Jade and Kim Yu. Taking care of 3 children in your hands are never easy without patience. Lucky enough we had our lunch at KFC.

We went to lots of places and I can't be bothered to tell the details. *laugh*. Then we reached back to our centre at about 1530hrs. I showered all of my students and I gave them their milk before they took their nap. As usual Zakhil will fetched me from work. We took cab to Century Square. We went to survey one of the dress that I want so much since last year. Zakhil really want to buy for me as he said it's suits me too but I just can't accept how generous he is.

We then bought Baby Aiman a block toys. We then went to Tampines Mall to have our Sushi and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. We have a good talk, still knowing each other deeper as we just into relationship. I learn a lot with him. Thank you, BabyChinta. You are there to make my day go well.

080410, 2104hrs; PizzaHut Treat

2010-04-08T06:02:00.000-07:00

I went to work as usual at 0640hrs and reached workplace at about 0755hrs. I get Zakhil's message when I reached Yishun area, still in bus on the way to work. Zakhil called me when I was havign my short nap with my students, planning where to go for dinner.

He planned to have Pastamania, but we heard that it was not Halal. So we changed the planned in the bus, on the way back to Tampnies. Yes, he fetched me from work as usual. Then Aizzah called me when we wanted to withdraw some money for my tomorrow excursion to Singapore Zoological Garden with my students and other teachers. So we met Aizzah and I called Aqmal to join us as I felt guilty if I never asked him out too. It's been so long since the last time my siblings went to have gathering.

Zakhil treat my siblings and me PizzaHut for our dinner at Tampnies Mall. Then we went to Century Square to get my nosestuds. I lost it again! *laugh*. Then we went home. Zakhil is late for work again because of me. But he never complaint. Even about those money were spent on me and my siblings. I can't remember when was the last time a guy really spent lots of cash just for me, for our love.

Thanks, BabyChinta. I love you so much. Thank you for brightening up my days.

060410, 2037hrs; My BabyChinta.

2010-04-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

I just came back from Tampines Mall, to have my dinner at Long John Silver with my new love. You must be thinking who, right? Who else I am dating now? Yes, I am in love. No more crush. Ans yes, I am moving on really fast. I don't wanna be stuck with the memories anymore.

This is the second day Zack, Zakhil, fetch me from work. Yesterday, Abang Khalid and him sent me to school and today we spent our quality time together. I miss those time when I felt that I am on top of the world, a guy hold my hand while crossing the road, carrying my bag when he knows I am tired as I just came back from work, money is not an issue at all to him and willing to accept for who I am without changing my attitudes at all.

That's the reason why I love him. That's the type of guy that I need in my life. Thank you for everything you did, BabyChinta. Nerly sayang Zack macam mana Zack sayangkan Nerly. We're planning to go to Kuala Lumpur on 7th May, 2010. Hope this will come true. I am looking forward, because I didn't have enough of shopping when my family and me went there.

040410, 1958hrs; Happy Birthday, Rizal.

2010-04-04T04:55:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday, Md. Rizal B Salleh!
May all you wishes come true.
I hope you are feeling blessed now.
Take care.

030410, 2155hrs; Lies and Hypocrite.

2010-04-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

Someone is a liar. Caught his MSN nick as; *s.h.i.n.t.o b.e.l.l.a*
You may lie to me, but God is great.
Lucky enough I am not in your trap again.

2010-04-03T04:17:00.000-07:00

Spot the curls? It costs me $40 only.

030410, 1823hrs; the feeling lingers in me.

2010-04-03T03:20:00.000-07:00

VERSUS

I went to the wet market again with Mama. Yeah, I have new hairstyle done. &&all the way since morning, guess who messaged and keep calling me? Yes, my new "friend" Zakhil. It's so sweet of him to reply my forward message. Read this.

Fill it up:

I admire you.

You have nice and small cutie voice.

You make me melt.

You should know,

Someday I will be yours.

You + Me = Together.

If I saw you now, I'd jumping joy.

I want to grope you.

I would build a palace just for you.

If I could sing you any song, it would be "Only You".

We could waltz under the rain.

Love,
Take my hand.

Ehnal messaged me too. He said everything he messaged me on the March 30th was just a prank, and I take it seriously. Yeah, i take it seriously because you were still saying sorry to me the following day, telling me not to cry because you does not worth my tears and telling me that I am strong. He messaged me too yesterday night when I was about to sleep, asking me out to catch a movie. I rejected the offer because I am just too afraid the feelings for him will linger back again. Do you think I will believe that this is an advance April Fool prank for me?

If you think you're in dilemma, I am too. I have to let the feelings for you go, Ehnal. I'm not turning back. Like you said, we just remain as friends. Don't talk about feelings anymore with me. It's about to go away.

2010-04-02T06:58:00.001-07:00

This is Zakhil that I was telling you all about.

020410, 2128hrs; Maulidur Rasul.

2010-04-02T06:15:00.000-07:00

Wow! Such a tiring day today. The Jamiyah Association is having Maulidur Rasul at Tampines Stadium. All the Jamiyah Childcare Centre teachers and Global Child Development Centre teachers have to report there at 1330hrs. All of us were in-charge of the Nasi Bryani and the Mineral Water.

I woke up early in the morning at 0800hrs, Mama told me to accompany her to the wet market to cook for all the teachers Nasi Lemak. So, I did and I straight away get myself ready the moment I reached home, because I wanna use the computer. *smile*. Ms Sinah drived Mdm Faridah, Mama and me to Tampines Stadium.

The moment I reached there, all of them looked at Mama and me. Yes, I know what you all were thinking. We got the same features when I wear Tudung. Never expect, right? We had Nasi Lemak for our lunch and did our work. It was a hot day but lucky enough that God loves us and He let the cloud sheltered us all day long.

Zakhil texted me the whole day, trying to get my attention. Me?? Just treating him as a friend. I just get to know him. I don't think of anything else, except friendship. Yeah, of course I will miss being loved and cared but things are different for me now. I have to face the fact that not all we did, people will treasure. Rizal texted me too. He sounded so cheerful, i don't know why. I don't wanna know why too. It's his life, he's still trying to move on. Let him be. He's birthday coming in two days time.

Adam stayed over at my house as tomorrow he'll be having soccer match with Aqmal's school. So yeah, my room are full. I have to sleep at my old room back with Grandma and Aizzah.

020410, 1121hrs; Maulidur Rasul.

2010-04-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

To all the ladies out there; this song by Rossa is for you girls. Enjoy, girlfriends! ((:

Sudah kubilang jangan terlalu yakin
Mulut lelaki banyak juga tak jujur
Bila sakit hati wanita
Bisanya nangis

Sudah kubilang terlalu cinta
Kalau patah hati siapa mau nolong
Seperti langit dan matahari
Tak bersatu lagi

Hey ladies!
Jangan mau dia bilang lemah
Kita juga bisa menipu dan menduakan
Bila wanita sudah beraksi
Dunia hancur
Hey ladies!
Sekarang cinta pakai otak
Jangan mau rugi hati dan juga rugi waktu
Bila dia merayumu
Ingat, semua bohong

Memanglah tak semua laki-laki busuk
Namun ladies tetaplah harus waspada
Semogalah kita semua akhirnya
Mendapatkan cinta yang tulus

020410, 1049; Maulidur Rasul.

2010-04-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I update my blog. I've been busy with my career and school course. Yeah, it's exhausting. Feel shagged each time I reached home.

Now, the feelings has fading bit by bit. Maybe due to my experiences and the encouragements that I told to my own self. I've learn a lot from the past. Credits to all the guys that manage to break my heart, leaving me hanging and make me like a fool. Because of you guys, I am still standing tall and I always told myself that I deserve to be happier than this. I may not be strong enough at times, but it is all depends on the confidence in me. It's easy for me to forgive, but forgetting and moving on might be hard. Yeah, I have move on without the last love but not the last crush.

To Ehnal, I respect your decision. Yeah, we just remain friends. There's always a reason why we are not meant to be together. Thank you. I am moving on because of you. I am not angry at all with you. I am prepared for the worst, actually. I've seen your changes since the night we went to pool at Tampines Safra. I can sense something is wrong, something is not right. I don't feel the comfort with you anymore. I don't see myself in your eyes and I can't be myself on that night. I was like a plastic, wearing a mask, trying to ease my heart which keep asking in my mind what's wrong that night and why my heart doesn't beat faster like other night before. I don't hold any grudges at all. Don't worry. I will soon be okay. I just need some time to forget about the feelings.

Mama keep talking about Azmil nowadays. I know Mama still have not over him. My whole family still hoping for that guy to come back to me. I don't! Really. I am just hoping that he will fall for my sister one day. At least my family's hopes will not go waste. *laugh*.

280410, 2014hrs; love or missing you?

2010-03-28T05:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I wanna upload those pictures of you.
Yeah, I miss you so much.
Did not expect you will call me yesterday.
Wahidah must know this! ((:

2010-03-27T22:51:00.000-07:00

You know you love me.

I know you care.
Just shout whenever,
And I'll be there.
You want my love,
You want my heart,
And we will never ever, ever be apart.

Are we an item?
We're just friends.

280410, 1105hrs; Dilemma.

2010-03-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

I just end cutting my fingernails and Aiman's. All my family members are home except for Papa who is fetching Aizzah from her Religious Class at Masjid Darul Ghufran. Aqmal, Boboy, is still sleeping. NekCik(Grandma's sister) is at my house too. Mama was reading the Berita Harian when she told me to join the Anugerah Screen. It's not that I am not interested but the audition today is the last day and till 1700hrs. I am not prepared mentally.

Well, yesterday was my shift to work on Saturday. After work, Mdm Jehan and her 2 kids, Teacher Rahimah and myself when to Teacher Sapiah's house near Admiralty MRT as she visited us to her House-Warming. We ate alot! Then we watched Santau. Yeah, I know it's been quite sometimes the movie is out but I have no time to watch it. And yes, all my co-workers have seen how scary-cat I am. It's not that I am afraid of the ghost, but the sound effects macam kurang ajar gitu lorr! *laugh*.

Then about 1715hrs, I went off with Eliani(Yani). We took 168 together. Yani was going to her Aunt's place at Chai Chee, I was on my way to meet Ehnal and his friends at Tampines Safra to play pool. Ehnal knows how to play well. He must be a good aim person. I won too, when I played with Azura and Mizah. I had fun yesterday.

Didn't I tell you that Ehnal was fined by the Custom for the contraband ciggerettes? Yeah, he did! He's paying as soon as possible, probably tomorrow. Now I am thinking to cancel the plan to Pulau Ubin for cycling and just have a small picnic at East Coast Park or not. Poor Ehnal.. Yesterday I just felt uncomfortable with him. I don't know why. He was acting somehow different. I know he is stress, but I don't want him to get the innocent people to be involved.

Okay, I am not going to elaborate more about Ehnal. I just go with the flow. I still wanna take things slow, even slower now. &&Hedir called me yesterday! OMG. How he get my new number?? *thinking*.

250310, 1902hrs; At last it's Thursday!

2010-03-25T04:00:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday at last! Monday till Wednesday were tiring days as I went to school but went off earlier, Tuesday I slacked under the void deck with Ryhan, Arep Palat, Arep Lembut, Khai and Kecik. Ehnal joined us at about 0130hrs. Guess what time I reached home? At 0300hrs!

By the time, it was Wednesday. So I only have 2hrs 30mins of sleep and get ready to go to work with Mama. I went to SATA at Woodlands Civic Centre with Suhairul. I did not take my lunch. Then after work, I went to my night class. I have not get enough sleep yet, so I grabbed the chances when I got the time. Class was boring yesterday. All we did was some Art & Crafts then another Assignment was being given. This time round is Group Assignment. My group consist of another two people; Lynn & Norita.

Now, I am missing someone. I am meeting Ehnal again, as he's inviting me to come along to Clarke Quay later with his another friend. We're not partying, but just chill around. I cannot wait for the time. The clock is ticking very slow. Rizal called me up again, asking about my handphone that he wanna borrow. It's not that I don't allow, but I just feel not secure anymore. &&by the way, what am I gonna say to my parents when I wanna go out later?

230310, 2006hrs; I miss someone.

2010-03-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

I am moving on.
Thank you, friends, for all the support.
Yeah, I don't deserve to be treated that way.

2010-03-21T01:25:00.000-07:00

I am meeting Ehnal at 1800hrs.
Going to watch movie at E-Hub.
Thank, Ehnal. You are such a good and faithful friend.

2010-03-21T01:09:00.000-07:00

Rizal keep calling. I keep on rejecting.
Then he messaged me, "Whats wrong with you? Pick up the phone."
I replied, "I don't entertain liars. Thanks for everything."

I don't know why I was replying him that message.

Then he replied again, "Pe yg I tpu?"
I replied, "Ask yourself. You know the answer best."

I don't know what to answer, so I just pull his legs.

He replied, "Ok.. I'm sorry. I smlm minum ngan dorg smua smp pagi, but to tell the truth we talk about something important."
I replied, "Thanks for everything. Tc. Gdbye from me forever."

And he kept calling me again and again. He even called my house. I don't know what else to say. For me, I'm okay as long as you are honest with me. I don't even control your whereabouts. Now, you are taking advantage. Pleading me to forgive you and cried on the phone. Sorry, I am taking back my love. You are making things worst. Remember you are the one who always say, "Honesty is the best policy"? Mirror yourself, Rizal Salleh. Now, I am all alone.

210310, 1310hrs; Beauty Sleep.

2010-03-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to me, people! I just came back from KL yesterday at about 2100hrs. Not that much fun happen there as there's no other cousin following us along except my siblings, no auto roaming network for me to text or call my friends, no money to shop till drop and always get bullied by my aunties with their hurtful words. I am not going to elaborate more about this.

I called Rizal when I reached Singapore yesterday night. He was on his way to Yew Tee. He did not inform me at all his whereabouts the whole day. Yeah, we're really in a rocky condition now. My second reason for going this holiday trip is to clear my mind too, actually. Then he wanna go Ubi to meet his uncles and cousin. I called him several times after midnight but he did not answer, my messages are just to waste my prepaid. At last he called me after 0345hrs. Whats the first thing in my mind? He went to club or what?? If not, why after 0300hrs? Why he didn't answer my calls? Don't be silly that he cannot hear the ringtone. At the first place, why he have to silent his phone? I don't know what's in his mind. I am not going to call or text me anymore. Let him the the first one doing it. I think I give him too much face till he took advantage again and again.

I woke at 10mins ago, and I've brushed my teeth and tidy my room before I switch on this computer. I plan to post this blog, do my assignments that due tomorrow and wait for Ehnal to wake up. He promised me to watch movie once I come back from KL. And now I am so eager to watch Cop Out. An Belo said it's a funny movie.

160310, 1843hrs; My Hands Are Cold.

2010-03-16T03:41:00.000-07:00

I went to work with Mama, taking 969 at 0630hrs shift bus. I usually reached workplace at 0745hrs. Then I'll eat my breakfast with my students. I did not join the sing-along session as I helped Teacher Sapiah to take care of the infants. Yeah, the childcare centre that I am working at has infant babies.

Then Teacher Sapiah returned my favor by doing Scorpion on my hair. It's been so long since Mama style my hair. I felt he emotion when Teacher Sapiah combed my hair and style my hair. I miss Mama's smooth touch and warmth kiss on my forehead. Mama never did that before. Papa did that every morning before he off to work and before he went to bed.

Today Teacher Diyanah took MC. So I worked with Teacher Nani. I showered the children and changed their diapers today. We received a complaint by a "passer-by" about yesterday's incident. It's not really an incident. Just take precaution now than be sorry later. Teacher Nani is very cross with the "passer-by". Actually that "passer-by" is our own staff in our centre. Poor Teacher Nani. The nearer the date of her resignment soming, the more problem she have to face with the senior staffs there. I can't do anything because I'm afraid they'll think I'm on her side, where else I'm neutral. By the way, I did Music and Movements with my students when Teacher Nani end her shift at 1640hrs, before I can't go off at 1700hrs.

I am supposed to go home with Mama. We planned to meet at Seletar Camp bustop but she said she'll be late as she hasn't go off from her centre. So I took 969 home. Now it's 1857hrs and Mama just reached home. I reached home about 30minutes ago. Luckily I didn't promise anything with Mama.

140310, 2054hrs; I'll miss Rizal for sure.

2010-03-14T05:52:00.000-07:00

I went out to meet Rizal, Diyanah and Mamat at almost midnight. Rizal bought me a box of Menthol then we spent time together. Rizal and me went to have our breakfast-lunch at Bedok. Mamat and Diyanah took the train home.

We went to Tampines Library as I'm looking for some ideas for Rizal's birthday on April 04, 2010. I hope it's gonna happening with fun people around. I decided to make this ice cream cookies for him. What do you think?

We then went to watch kites opposite Tampines Bus Interchange before he sent me home. I know we'll not be meeting each other for 2weeks from now as I am going to KL soon. Don't worry, dear. I'll be fine and I'll sure come back.

Now, I am tired. I have already iron Daddy's Police Uniform, packed my KL Trip clothes and prepare things for tomorrow's work. Yeah, I'm single but not looking. Don't ask me why.

130310, 1827hrs; Back from Wedding Invitation.

2010-03-13T02:25:00.000-08:00

I went for my half-day shift on today and I did not have enough sleep. Rizal spent the whole night at my house till 0430 and he took the first bus home. I slept while he's on the way home and he woke me up at 0520hrs. By the time, he was already at the Kallang area.

I took my shower and get myself ready to work. I had my breakfast at my centre and I watched the VCD with my students. I had a long talk with Teacher Nina about the routine and I am able to do it independently. I had no trouble doing my tasks given by my Supervisor or any teachers so far. I still a lot of things to learn and I am willing to sacrifice my time.

I spent almost an hour at the Chong Pang bustop, waiting for my parents. I was so fed-up by then. I hate waitings. Who does? Then we went to the wedding invitation by my mum's side. And I swear I've forgotten that I have to bring along my Baju Melayu. Guess what I was wearing to wedding ceremony? A T-shirt with 3/4 Jeans. *laugh*. Never in my life I wore that type to a function.

Then my family, PakNgah's family and PakBusu's Family went to visit Selamat's dad at Hougang. He had a ByPass Operation. He's strong enough now. Thank God that he's okay.

Now, I am waiting for Rizal to reach me. I don't know why since I end work just now, he keep raising his voice. Maybe he's tired or too tensed with his situation of having two jobs. But don't involve me too in this problem. He wants me to support him, but he's there doing things difficult for me to handle. I am too tired now. Will post again. &&I miss my natural curly hair!

120310, 1751hrs; Happy Mood.

2010-03-12T01:51:00.000-08:00

I am meeting Boyfriend Rizal now!
Yeah, I am really happy.
I love my boyfriend! Do you?

120310, 1622hrs; Shagged.

2010-03-12T00:29:00.000-08:00

Today is my second day of my MC, or I should say it's the last day. I went to SATA Woodlands early in the morning with Rizal. Planned to meet him at 0845hrs, but I woke up at 0800hrs due to Papa's call. Thanks to Papa, if it's not because of his call, I'll be sleeping till afternoon.

I had my chest X-Ray taken, the nurse took my blood for test, height and weight taken too but not the urine test as it takes 5days after last menses then I can have the urine test taken. Since my menses end last 2 days, I have to come back on the March 15, 2010 during lunch time. Okay, let me tell you about my height and weight. I've grown up with the height of 154cm and my weight is 53kgs. I gained 3kgs since countdown. Oh my God. But I'm happy with my life now.

Now, I am waiting for Rizal to end his part-time work. Then I thought of meeting him. I miss him. I'll be working tomorrow and I expect Rizal to fetch me after work, even though he got an appointment at 1500hrs.

110310, 1747hrs; Sore-throat and Pink eyes.

2010-03-11T01:45:00.001-08:00

I was awake by 0530hrs. Took my shower and I realized that I got pink eyes. I didn't think of anything. Maybe because yesterday I cried to sleep. I missed Rizal so much. I didn't know I am changing. I'm sorry, Rizal. I always give you a hard time and I'm sorry I keep blaming you everything.

I arrived work at about 0745hrs and I was told to go home due to the pink eyes. Oh my God! I can't believe that it's turning obvious red. At first, only my right eye was red and now slowly the left one is affected too. Poor me have already traveled from Tampines to Woodlands, spent less than 30mins in workplace and have to leave. So I phoned Rizal. Papa called me too. I told them what happened.

I was home by 1030hrs and I was so sleepy. I phoned Rizal before I took my 7hrs nap. I was awaken by an unknown number message, asking me where am I. I didn't reply as my credit is low and I don't entertain unknown numbers.

Now, I am waiting for Rizal to fetch me and accompany me to the clinic. My throat is aching too. Guess I'm having sore-throat too with running nose. *sigh*. I miss my children.

110310, 1747hrs; Sore-throat and Pink eyes.

2010-03-11T01:45:00.000-08:00

090310, 1847hrs; Second day at work.

2010-03-09T02:46:00.000-08:00

Today is my second day working at Global Child Development Centre at Woodlands. Thanks, Madam Faridah, for the recommending the centre, thank you to Madam Jehan for hiring me and thank you too to Ms Sina for calling me to inform that i am accepted by the company. I just reached home from work, before that I went to Fairprice near my place to buy Rizal's Snake Powder.

It's been fun and the clock is ticking really fast when I took care of Playgroup class. I was late for work acutally but I pay back the time. Early in the morning, I let the students have their breakfast, sing-along session and I let them play toys after that. At abt 1130hrs, they'll have their lunch and either me or Teacher Diyanah will shower them. But now it's been two days I've been doing it. I don't mind. Then I'll give them their milk and pat them to sleep. When they're asleep, that's when all the teachers will have our lunch together and I'll call Rizal after that.

At about 1500hrs, my students will be awaken by then. We'll serve their tea breakI'll change their diapers and wash their faces. In the classroom, Teacher Diyanah will put on powder for them and comb their hair. When they're done, we get them to wash their hands before they can play the toys again. About 1700hrs, Teacher Diyanah or me will tell them a story. At about 1730hrs, all the students will be watching the VCDs Cartoon while waiting for their parents to fetch them.

By the time, my shift has end. I got a fixed shift from 0800hrs to 1700hrs. I went home with Yani. I still hasn't got to work and learn lots of new things and centre own procedures from Teacher Nina as she's still on MC. Whatever I've learnt from Jamiyah Childcare Centre, I'll conduct the same at my new workplace centre. I wanna make this as my career and I'm loving it even though it's not an easy job dealing with young human being, shaping their characters and expanding their mind with more knowledge.

070310, 2058hrs; Humid and Tired.

2010-03-07T04:58:00.000-08:00

Aqmal's(my brother) BoyBand Friends.

They are talented boys. Really.

I just end removing my nail polish. It's a tiring day for me since yesterday. I went to have Sheesha at Haji Lane with NanaShawty, Hannah, Ahzan Ciner, Ray and Ray's friend. NanaShawty and me took some pictures taken by Hannah. It's fun exchanging thoughts with someone who you seldom meet. I miss those fun when all of my girlfriends still stick together. Now we're all busy with our own things.

I had my family chalet yesterday at Costa Sand Pasir Ris. Lots of my relatives did show up, including Rizal. It feels like years I last meet him when actually we just met last few days back. Rizal promised me to show up at abt 1500hrs but you try to make a guess what time he came. 2130hrs! Yeah, janji melayu. I just want him to overcame his fear with my family. I understand that it's hard for him to really "expose" himself due to his tattoo and my family reputations. If you really love me, it's not hard for you to do anything for me, right?

Rizal spent the night with my relatives and me. We swam at the swimming pool and played Captain's Ball and Poison Ball in the pool. We had so much fun. I am happy as Rizal make his effort to show me that he really wanna overcome his fear. Then we played Monopoly after Grandma arrived.

Pakngah sent us home by lorry. Rizal helped me to carry some stuffs. Then he followed me to buy Nail Polish Remover. He went back from my house at about 1945hrs and he went back home. He's coming back to camp tonight.

Thank you for all the efforts and letting me to voice out, Rizal. I love you always. Stay strong, okay? I know we can do it. *hug tight*.

050310, 1324hrs; It's Friday and Rizal is out soon!

2010-03-04T21:25:00.000-08:00

I just end brushing my teeth. I am so shagged due to the fights with Rizal yesterday night. Well, I slept alone yesterday. I hate it when Rizal starts his attitude again and again. He said he wanna change, but he's not trying hard enough. I miss my Rizal.

2010-03-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

While on the phone with Rizal, after quarreling.

self.

my clan in school; myself, Sarah, Lynn and Kakak Ryn.

My lecturer; Madam Rashidah.

My lovely girlfriends with the lecturer.

That's Nizah and hidden Sophia, not hidden Mickey, behind me!

New student; Dini.

the playgroup students; Keagan & Hafiz.

my all-time favourite chinese boy; Keagan Sng.

New student; Norman.

020310, 1308hrs; From GCDC @ Woodlands.

2010-03-01T21:07:00.000-08:00

Heylo people.

I just taken my lunch. I had Maggi Curry. There's nothing in the stove, so I have to cook by myself. I woke up at 0730hrs to get ready for job interview. I applied for Assistant Teacher position. It went well as the supervisor, Madam Jehan, knows Madam Faridah and my mum. I talked so much and asked lots of questions. But it's a good sign to show that we're interested in knowing more, right?

So, yesterday I went to Jamiyah Childcare Center @ AMK Ave 6, where my mum works. I reached at about 1400hrs and had my lunch there. Then I asked Mama if she has already printed out my assignments that I have already saved in her thumbdrive. So yeah, she did but with some extra copies. I was so glad that it's coming to the end of my first assignments. Though I had done lots of sacrifices, time, arguing with Rizal as he don't understand at all about my jobscope and school thingy but all was being paid off. As usual I will talk with Wahidah with lots of things.

At about 1700hrs, I went of to school. It was such a tiring day. We end class at abt 2100hrs. Early, huh? Because it's the end of Module 1 on Children's Development and Guidance! *sigh*. At last now I can breathe. We took pictures with Madam Rashidah. I will never forget her. She's a good lecturer. I admire her way of teaching. I wish I can be like her soon.

So yeah, I reached home about 2145hrs, after Farhan, Lynn's husband, sent me home with Lynn and their daughter, Nurul, came along. I phoned Rizal and had a little quarrel. Nevermind. At least now, I know I am done with one of the burden that is the assignment.

010310, 1018hrs; Uploading New Pix.

2010-02-28T18:20:00.001-08:00

Hello people!
it's been days i was MIA in my blog. i miss my blog so much!
i've been really busy with my days.
today is the submission day of my assignments!
ive done all. everything is going well, i guess.

well, ytd i help Mama and Granny to cook. We had Roti Kirai on our today menu.
i havent get myself ready yet, even thou Rizal has arrived.
iie was still on the stove, cooking curry chicken.
Uncle Don, his new 3rd wife from Batam and my Granny from Woodlands came.
i was getting ready by then. i get Baby Aiman ready as well.
Mama packed food for Rizal. It's a good FIRST sign.
i dont wanna assump but i guess my family can accept Rizal already.
i am happy when i reflect back what mama had done for Rizal & me.
Thank you, Mama. You are still the best.

We went to Tampines Mall to apply new line and we got an iPhone.
We then went to have our lunch at KFC.
Tampnies Library was the next stop. i cant stop going to the library nowadays.
But ytd i went to the library to find a novel instead.
Then Rizal suggested we watched kites at the open field, just opposite Tampines Bus Interchange.
It was really fun. I was forever camwhoring, so Rizal has to take care of Baby Aiman.
*laugh*. I know dats so bad of me. But i just want him to know how to tc of a baby.
Then abt 1900hrs, Rizal sent us home and he went home to change, before he go to camp.

iie am missing Rizal now.

220210, 1148hrs; shagged.

2010-02-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

The center woman is the person who take care of me since iie had my first cry till now.
<3 Granny!

This is my far cousin Wani.

This is my cousin Amirah. Her mum is my closest aunty among all.

Mama said, "My photogenic daughter.. *sigh*"

My far cousin Farhanah.

All the kiddos.

My parents.

We booked 4 stations for our family to play.

A group of my family members.

Anoder group of my family members.

These are Daddy and Baby Aiman.

My far cousin Atikah and me.

My dad looks like a pro! *laugh*.

The only person in the family who followed her features is me.

Myself.

My Mama.

This is my cousin Kak Ida.

My one and only sister; Aizzah.

My siblings without Baby Aiman.

Myself.

From left; Nabil(far cousin), myself, Zaki(cousin) and Aqmal(my brother).

Amirah again.

Okay, back to my posting. Yesterday was Humairah's 4th birthday. So, Abg Atan & Kak Siti threw a birthday party at Bukit Batok CSC. It's a perfect place to have a party there as all around ur are nature. iie love the environment.

We had Fried Maggi, Black Pepper Beef, Chicken, Dadeh and more. Guess what's the birthday cake? Swensens'! OMG. iie can't recall when was the last time iie ate the ice cream cake before yesterday. Then the whole family of myne when to bowling. iie had so much fun. iie wished Rizal was there with me.

Yeah, he can't turn up as he was working for hys friend. iie dunno how he work and what he work as for that day. All iie know he was late to report work at 0800hrs and he end work at abt 1700hrs. We wanted to meet up, but my ezlink left $4 plus and iie need to go to school the following day. iie know it's not enough. Rizal and me always have to bear with it. It's difficult for us.

iie miss Rizal. iie really do. We had a good long talk ytd when iie got home. Now then iie know that iie am not the first girl that he patted me to sleep. Shiela was. Yeah, iie am jealous. iie wanna be the first girl in evewitink we did. *sigh*. iie dunno if iie am the one who is oversensitive or he is the one changing. Maybe iie am the one..

220210, 1142hrs; Eydenabilalip.

2010-02-21T19:27:00.000-08:00

Mawnink Sunshine!
iie am so sowie for nort upudating this few days.
Lotsa things have to catch up.

Guess what??!
iie am sharing my happiness with BellaDangdut and AlipSanchi.
Bella succeeded to deliver Eyden last 2 days!
Well, congratulation, my dearest babygirl.
iie understand euu are now in your "pantang".
iie will visit euu soon this weekend with Rizal, okay?
iie miss euu so much!
Can't wait to take our pictures together with the new family member!
*laugh*.
Stay strong, Bella. &&iie know euu are strong enuff.
It's proven! ((:
iieLOVEeuu, girlfriend.

2010-02-15T23:20:00.000-08:00

Cool kn? *laugh*.

My handphone on th left and my boyfie's handphone on the right.

the outcome by Rizal Salleh. Lawa lahh jgak kan? *laugh*.

the self-timered candid shot.

Boyfie at work.

His creativity.

This is my Samsung CorbyPro.

See that puffy face for nort sleeping well. -.-

My assignments and Boyfie with hys own drawings. He's bored, actually.

On hys own world.

the flower he bought for me, after we had our fight.

at Pandan Reservoir.

On our way to Pandan.

Afiq and Eqa taking one of the rides at the FunFair.

Us at Arcade Marina Square.

This is Afiq(Rizal's brother) and hys Girlfriend Eqa.

160210, 1429hrs; waiting to call Rizal.

2010-02-15T22:31:00.000-08:00

Okay people. iie know it's been about 2 days iie didnt blog. Well, iie will try to tell euu evewitink that iie remember. (:

What happen on February 14, 2010?
iie was on my way to Prime when boyfie called my hp. iie cant answer hys call as my ppd is really low (till now). iie just remembered that iie didnt inform hym that iie was out to Prime! So iie texted hym only once saying that iie was outside and he asked me who topup my prepaid which no one did. So iie didnt reply hys msg. He texted me if iie wanna go out with hym. Of course iie want to! It's Valentines', for goodness sake! iie called hym up as soon as possible when iie reached home. iie know he's mad at me by hys tone. iie apologised and he said he change the planned not to meet up. iie was like, "Siak uhh!! Apa seii euu!!"

Then hys voice changed to cheerful, he was just playing around. He said he wanna watch movie. iie checked on the net if there's anymore available but all were full! iie repeat ALL WERE FULL! So boyfie told me to meet hym up at Raffles. iie reached Raffles at abt 19oohrs, 15mins before boyfie arrived. Then he wanted me to show hym where iie study. So iie did. We then walked to Merlion. iie saw Khairul Nizam(Khai Springfield Sec) when iie was otw to Merlion, but iie didnt tell boyfie that iie saw my old fwen. iie just hate it when boyfie didnt take good care of my feelings. His words were so sarcastic. His jokes are so rough.

Believe it anort. boyfie and me fought in front of the public! iie remembered hys word when iie told hym that iie wanna go home, "Sebelum aku tumbuk ko pehh muka!! Asal dgn ko??! Ko nk balek sgt kn?! Balek uhh! Lepas tu ko jgn cari aku lagi!! Sial pehh pompan! Mati ko kat sini nnt aku tumbuk!! Puki! Ko pikir aku apa siol??! Mampos uhh dgn ko! Dasar pompan sial!"

Then he walked away. iie was crying like nobody's business. iie was controlling my migrane attack when he came back to me. He hugged me tightly and apologised. iie need hym, still. iie love hym so much. How my days will be without hym? So, we continue our way to Marina Square, to meet Afiq and Eqa when boyfie bought me a bunch of flowers. Afiq and Eqa were waiting for us at the Arcade. We played some games before we went to a FunFair nearby the Riverside.

Then we took the bus to Pandan. Boyfie and me spent our nite at Pandan Reservoir. We talked till 0700hrs then we slept till 1130hrs.

It was February 15, 2010 by then.
We went to have our lunch near my place, before iie went home. It takes me 45mins before iie went out again to do my assignment. We wanted to go to Library but it was closed. So, we find a spot where it's windy.

We took some pictures self-timered and candid one, before we went to see kites near Tamp Interchange. We bought Old Chang Kee. Boyfie sent me home. iie reached home at abt 19oohrs. Then iie got myself ready to go to Enak Rasa Thai Restaurant with my family, Cik Lon's family and Nenek. iie reached home at abt 2200hrs, took my meds and on the phone with Rizal. By 23oohrs, we were asleep. iie miss my boyfie!

140210, 1551hrs; Pix on eve V'Day.

2010-02-13T23:53:00.000-08:00

done by Rizal Salleh. My Valentines' gift from hym. Thank you, boyfie.

He's nort ready actually.

Just the two of us.

one of my fav pic. (:

hold me tight like we used, Rizal.

all iie want is your love, boyfie.

by Rizal.

Datang lahh dia!!

He's learning to be a photogenic guy now. thanks to me!

candid shot! iie like this.

iie find Rizal so kiut in this pic!

Nerly Erviona.

at Marina.

at Century Square, waiting for Amalina to buy her new shoe.

140210, 1426hrs; Happy Valentines' Day!

2010-02-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY, GIRLS!
Well, iie am not sure if iie am meeting Rizal again anort later. iie spent the whole 13-14hrs with hym. He's still sleeping in hys crib, iie guess. He hasn't call me yet.

iie met hym ytd at Tamp MRT Stn at abt 3pm, then both of us and Aloi waited for Amalina. We went to have our lunch at LJS Tamp Mall. We then went to Tamp MRT Harvey Norman after we smoked but it was closed. Ive told Rizal abt it, but guys are still guys. *sigh*.

We planned to get ourself to Pandan. At Lavender Stn, Rizal changed the plan at the last min. Rizal and me alighted at Bugis, while Aloi and Amalina went to Pandan and we went window shopping. Rizal bought me a new belt! Dats so nice of hym. We walked to City Hall and sat at Merlion area. Then we went to Marina Square. Rizal bought paperclips and double-sided tape at Times. iie dunno what makes hym buy that either.

We then took the train to Tamp back. Know what happen in the train?? This is the most funny part! There's these 3 minah. iie was talking to Rizal abt my Nenek's appointment at Geylang Polyclinic. Then all of them were laughing like nobody's business, idk bcoz of wat. And iie dun think it's wrong to look at them for a glance. While iie was countinuing talking to Rizal, suddenly Rizal told me to ignore. iie was like, "Huhh?? Buat bodoh psl apa?" iie was so lost until iie heard one of the girl said, "Ko pn nk gula2 dia perr??" while iie was asking Rizal if he wants a sweet.

Now iie noe the story line. *laugh*. iie can be slow at tyme lahh, iie admit! But what did iie do?? iie just continue talking to Rizal, resting my head on hys shoulder. They alighted at Paya Lebar and one of them said, "Nk g alek pangkeng per?? Kat sana ada bilik tk??" in a sarcastic way. iie got the feeling they are referring to me. But it didnt affect my feelings and me at all. Really.

When they alighted the train, one of the girl knocked the glass window behind me with all her strength. I didnt turn back. Neither Rizal. We continue talking to each other. Such a stupid way of her. The MRT door havent close yet, why didnt she come in and offer me fist fight in front of my face?? Why she have to knock the window behind me instead? If she's so brave enuf, then why didnt she speak up when they were still in the train, sitting next to us?

iie laughed. Rizal too. It's so stupid of her, really. There's so many people looking at wat happenned when she knocked the glass window behind me. Then iie saw this guy looking at me smiling and iie noe from hys expression he's telling me that iie did a good thing by nort "buying" wat they sell to me. iie can't be bother those minahrep lah. *laugh*.

Rizal and me then went to Mr Teh Tarik. iie had Mee Goreng Campur without vegetable and Rizal had Nasi Goreng Ikan Bilis without vegetable too. Then Mama called. It was just 2230hrs when she told me to get home asap as Nekcik and Tokcik were sleeping over. Rizal and me were trying our vewi best to spent the whole nyte together. So whr did we went to? We sat at the park near my place again. We talked lotsa things out and still laughing on what happened in the train.

Out of the sudden, Rizal told me not to laugh if he did sumtink that he never did before. Then he turned hys back, taking out the things that he bought at Times. I wasnt sure wat he did to those as his back is facing me. It took hym at least abt 30mins to do that "sumtink". Then he told me to close my eyes. My right hand closing the eyes, he hold my left hand. Then he put that "sumtink" on my hand. It was a ring! A DYI ring! So sweet of hym. iie didn't laugh but iie hugged hym instead. iie didn't expect to get such a sweet DYI ring from hym. He said he dun have that much cash to buy me a ring, so this is what he can get for me on Valentines' Day.

As for me, iie dun mind if iie get nothing on that day coz iie believe love doesnt prove widely on that vewi day only. Evewi day is a V'Day for couples. Then Rizal sent me home at abt 0445hrs. Rizal took the first bus home. He reached home at abt 0645. Poor hym. He's still sleeping.

Tankiu, boyfie. Euu are the music in me.

130210, 0957hrs; Cried Early in the Mawnink.

2010-02-12T17:58:00.000-08:00

Mawnink sunshine! iie had a sleepless nyte again ytd. iie put down the phone with Rizal at abt 0000hrs but iie was waken at 0030hrs. iie hate it when iie am tired, but iie cant sleep. Rizal was asleep by then.

iie remembered the conversation we had ytd. It all started when iie cant reached euu and euu called me back when iie texted euu up.

In the msg iie said, "Tankiu for evewitink. Read my blog asap. I post an entry for u. U off ur hp when i tried to reach u. Nvm. I noe ur love is nt strong like always anymore. U nvr change drastically like this b4. If it's becoz of my ppd that ure mad abt, idk wat to say. Im vewi disappointed that u still shout at me. U promised me, bt u did again. Is it my fault for letting u go?"

It took hym abt 30mins to call me. When he called, we tried to make things as per normal. But at the same tyme, we talked things out BUT in a sarcastic way. iie cant remember much. Some parts iie will always store in my mind and keep deep in my heart.

Myself; Yelah.. Kalau kita brkup, Rizal tk rugi pape perr!

Bf; Saper kata Rizal tk rugi pape?? Nerly klau bbl, tkmo sembrg bleh? *sigh*. Kadang2 eh Nerly nya ckp tu uat Rizal marah, uat Rizal sakit hati tau tk??!

Myself; Btol lahh! Rizal kn lelaki. Byk pompan lagi per dlm dunia. Nerly kn difficult gf..

*silent for a few mins*

Bf; Sayang, saper kata Rizal tk rugi pape klau Rizal hilang Nerly? Rizal rugi coz Rizal ilang org yg btol2 sygkn Rizal. Rizal rugi coz Rizal tk appreciate org yg da byk uat pape untuk Rizal. Rizal rugi coz dia tk pernah mengeluh bila dia trn Pandan atau amek Rizal dari camp even thou dia pnat.

*iie started to cry*.

Bf; Nerly kesat airmata k? Tkmo nangis lagi. Rizal mintak maaf k?

Myself; Hmm.. Okay. *cant stop crying but manage to dry the tears*.

Bf; Nerly nk dgr satu cerita psl satu pompan ni tk?

Myself; Nk.

Bf; Satu hari ni, Rizal dpt num dari kwn Rizal. Bila Rizal jumpa dia, Rizal suka cara dia pakaian. Dia lawa, dia chubby, dia mampat.. Rizal suka cara dia. (trying to tell me that he likes my physical). Rizal actually ada niat nk uat pakai dia.. Tpi bila Rizal da dgn dia, Rizal buang niat Rizal tu. Rizal sayangkn dia.. Rizal btol2 sukakn dia. Tapi sejak Rizal dgn dia, dia selalu nangis. Seingat Rizal, sebelum kita matair, dia tk pernah nangis. Dia suka ketawa, dia suka senyum. *iie started to cry again*. Rizal suka bila dia ketawa psl dia cute sangat. Dia punya org happy-go-lucky patutnya. Tpi Rizal byk sakitkn hati dia. Rizal tpu2 dia, Rizal tk patuh janji. Tpi Rizal ada confident dia tkkn main blkg Rizal. Dia byk tempuh untuk Rizal. Dia sanggup beranikn diri jumpa Mama, dia sanggup tk alek coz nk spend tyme dgn Rizal for more than 24hrs, dia tk pernah complaint dia pnat bila dia trn Jurong, dia byk nangis untuk Rizal. Nerly nk tau tk..? Bila dia nangis, Rizal rasa mcm... Ntah ehk. Susah nk ckp. Tapi hati Rizal mcm cair gtu.. Kesian dia. Rizal bkn tk appreciate apa yg dia da uat. Tpi Rizal tk tau mcm aner nk ckp. This is me. Rizal klau bleh tknk uat dia nangis lagi. Nerly tau saper pompan tu?

Myself; *still crying*. Ntah. Agaknya tau lahh. Nerly kn?

Bf; A'ahlah.. Mestilah Nerly. Dalah.. Lap airmata. Rizal tknk dgr Nerly nangis lagi. Rizal tdokn Nerly k?

Myself; Hmm.. Okay. *baca doa tdo*. Gdnyte, sweet dreams, sleep tite. Tc. I love u, Rizal. iie missed u too. *kishes*.

Bf; Okay, gdnyte. iie love u too. iie pn missed u. *kishes*. Bsk Nerly amek Rizal kul 0700hrs kn kat camp? Rizal tgu k? Da, da.. G tdo. *make the sound effect to let me sleep*.

iie really didnt expect that euu really appreciate what iie did just for euu, for us. Tankiu, Sayang. This is the most memorable thing that iie will remember and this is the biggest gift frm euu for Valentines' Day.

120210, 1915hrs; Keep hurting me.

2010-02-12T03:16:00.000-08:00

To: Rizal Salleh.

iie am sowie that iie keep rejecting your calls. iie dun wanna read your msges. It's hurting me so badly. Now euu are calling my hse, but iie keep answering it and putting it back asap. Really sowie, iie dun think we're meant to be together. iie can't find the reason why euu have to shout at me on the phone. All because my prepaid is low again. iie texted most on euu, on Bella, on my own siblings and my parents. And iie dun find the reason why euu have to be mad at me about this.

iie am sowie for saying, "Just dun talk to me again."
iie cant hide my emotion anymore. iie cried alot for euu already.
Now iie dunno whether to take back my love anort.
iie loved euu, but do euu?
Did euu ever spare a thought on me? iie am hanging around without knowing which way iie am going.

iie missed all the fun tyme. iie missed the time when euu talked nicely to me.
iie missed your tender touch. iie missed the time when euu played with my hair.
iie missed the moment euu looked into my eyes in the train and said euu love me.
iie missed the way euu hugged me closely to ur chest and let me cry evewitink out.
iie missed the nyte when we went stargazing at Bedok Reservoir.
iie missed the riddles we joke about. iie missed the time when we danced together at PokerFace.
Evewitink got to do between euu and me.

Euu are turning away from me again, Rizal. *cry*.

120210, 1209hrs; OTF with Rizal.

2010-02-11T20:10:00.000-08:00

iie am now talking otf with Rizal. Rizal is going to his lunch. He's on duty today till tmr mawnink. Pity boyfie.

Well, ytd iie met byofie at Bugis MRT Station at 1330hrs. Yes, we are late for his appointment. Say thanks to hys Master. He cant get out from his camp before he cut his hair. Rizal's hair is okay for me. It is still short, but iie have to understand that a pinch of hair is still nort allowed.

We smoked in front of the clinic, before we entered. iie thot its gonna be a nightmare for boyfie and me. But no. All the staffs there are friendly and supportive. They're vewi open with us. Boyfie join this study. We got Kak Roslinda to guide us up. Guess who iie saw?? FERD! *laugh*. Both of us were asking each other what we are doing here.

iie introduced hym to my bf. But iie got no courage to tell Rizal who is really this Ferd to me. iie just dun wanna hurt him again. Even thou he's my past, iie just cant tell Rizal. This is the only chance for me to spend tyme with Rizal physically. iie dun wanna spoilt his mood. iie wanna spent tyme really well with boyfie.

Boyfie told me to join the study too. So iie did. iie had my blood test taken and counsel me. iie felt good after talking evewitink out to Kak Rose. iie got my MSN counsellor named Carol. Boyfie got a different counsellor.

After that clinic appointment, we went to Daddy's workplace. Then we have out lunch-dinner at Tampines CPF Building KFC. Boyfie had the Ultimate Box meal, iie got the 2 pieces chicken meal. We then spent tyme at the park near my place. That park will leave memories of Rizal and me. We talked things out, we cried, we argued, we laughed, we joked with each other, we pissed off with one another. It's like WOW!

iie love you, Rizal. iie really do. iie missed all our good time together, before we become like now. iie hope this will nort end. Even thou we're nort celebrating V'Day, but iie hope euu will one day prove to me that euu love only me. Get well soon, dear dear.

110210, 1139hrs; Aiman's Poly Appointment.

2010-02-10T19:40:00.000-08:00

iie just came back from Aiman Polyclinic Appointment at Tampines. He got a dose of DPT 1st Booster injection. He cried a while abt less than 1 min before he's okay back. Yeah, most people thot that he's my son. iie am used to that phrase for 1yr 6mths and 18days now.

iie woke up at 0800hrs, when Rizal called me up to get ready. Rizal and me are okay now but iie dun wanna put too much hopes. iie am afraid things will get bad again. We had a good talk, a good cry, a good argue.

iie went to work ytd too, to do my assignment. Bella texted me up, telling me that she decided to change her son's name from Md Robin Rafael to Md Eyden Rafael. Even thou she change her son middle name, she still wanna have Robin for his nickname. She asked me for opinion. For me, it's okay to have that Robin as a nick bcoz it's a Christian name. iie prefer to have baby's name with meaning bcoz it will judge hym with most of hys character. Anitink suits euu, Bella darlink. iie will always be behind euu to support.

iie am now waiting for Aisyah's msg to get myself ready. iie am accompaning her to Eunos CC for Job Fair. iie am nort sure whether iie wanna look for part-time job anort. But iie am werking now. *laugh*.

Money is N E V E R enough.

090210, 1535hrs; Is this the date Azri and me were together??

2010-02-08T23:36:00.000-08:00

Heylo people. Something crossed my mind when iie type out the date just now. It's the date when Azri and me went together in the year of 2003. Time flies really fast.. iie am totally over hym!

Well, yesterday Rizal told me that he's nort over Shiela yet. He is still trying to forget abt her. I was speechless. It takes me 30mins to say that iie need to go to sleep. He apologised but the feelings that iie am facing is suck!

iie love euu, my boyfie. iie hope euu do too, even thou iie admit im a difficult gf to euu and all iie did all this while in our relationship are troubles.

To Bella Dangdut;
Thank you for listening all the probs iie am facing. Euu were there for me and euu managed to make my feelings go better. Euu are such a great friend. And little did iie know that we got the same characters too! *laugh*. Don't worry abt Alip too much, okay? He did ntg. Btw tankiu again. Klau da nk deliver ur baby, blg iie tau! *giggle*. iie nk visit! ((:

080210, 1427hrs; Tired!

2010-02-07T22:30:00.000-08:00

this is Shiela, Rizal's ex.

This is Ismail Icak! *laugh*.

Okay, iie am tired now. Really tired. iie met Rizal ytd at 8pm, before he went back to camp. Guess who iie saw in the train?? Ismail Icak! *laugh*. iie sepnt tyme with boyfie under his void deck. He get hymself ready at 2130hrs and iie sent hym to Jurong Point.

iie reached home and ironed Aizzah & Aqmal's school uniforms. iie on the phone with Rizal till iie fallen asleep. iie woke up at 0700hrs, by Papa. iie have to sent Nenek to Tamp Polyclinic as her neck aching is getting worst. We spent the whole 6hrs in the polyclinic. Nort funny, okay??! iie texted with Shiela while waiting for the medicine to be collected and payment being made.

iie was about to hv my gastric pain. iie quickly munch Goreng Pisang. *sigh*. iie was so damn tired. iie will be having my nyte class later. Oh GOD!

070210, 1720hrs; New Handphone.

2010-02-07T01:23:00.000-08:00

Mama wake me up at 0930hrs and told me to get ready. We are buying new handphones. We went to Whitesands first to withdraw money at OCBC Bank.

After withdrawing, we bought Donut Empire and Old Chang Kee for light lunch. We sent Uzairah, Huzaifah and Sarah home. We then went to Tamp Mall and surveyed handphones. Aqmal got X6, Aizzah got Samsung Omnia and myself got Samsung CorbyPro.

But iie didnt get to sign up the Student Plan! -.-

2010-02-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

Fami's 20th Birthday.

2010-02-05T20:04:00.000-08:00

Arab and hys clans; went to Jurong Swimming Complex.

2010-02-05T19:59:00.000-08:00

Azri Unk & me; from ITE mates to buddies. (:

2010-02-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

Hedir & me; Shariffa Aini's Concert at Spore Indoor Stadium.

2010-02-05T19:48:00.000-08:00

Kak Ros's Appreciation Night for our big family at Chai Chee Restaurant.

2010-02-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

Hedir & me; the days when we were still together. At Kampong Chai Chee KTV.

2010-02-05T19:32:00.000-08:00

During my days as a Receptionist at Javanese Authentic Traditional Massage and Beauty.

2010-02-05T19:28:00.000-08:00

These was during Kitt's Birthday.

060210, 1122hrs; Memberot.

2010-02-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

Heylo people! Mama wake up at 0615hrs and get ready to collect our new Passports. After taking our passports, we went to have our breakfast at Kandahar Street. iie remembered iie went there with Furqan for our dinner. It's a nice place to eat and the foods ate delicious too.

We then sent Nenek to Cik Lijah's hse at Ubi. Then we went home. iie am trying to upload pictures from my DG Camera to my computer. Soon, the pictures will be ready.

iie am going to my far cousin wedding later, after Aqmal ends his Madrasah. So, i'll update again later or tmr.

050210, 1033hrs; Hedir's birthday.

2010-02-04T18:35:00.001-08:00

Happy 22nd Birthday, Muhd Hedir Abdul Hajat.
May you succeed in your life.
Thank you for taking care of me.
I missed you.

2010-02-04T15:26:00.000-08:00

the letter iie wrote for Rizal, but iie didn't manage to give it to hym as he's at camp.
It was when we were fighting, last 2 nytes, after iie tried to call twice.

050210, 0710hrs; Early Bird

2010-02-04T15:08:00.000-08:00

Mawnink, sunshine!

iie totally cant sleep. Rizal get me to bed with hym at abt 0100hrs and iie was awake at 0200hrs. iie changed room and slept with Aizzah. My whole body aching. iie managed to sleep after 15mins for turning over and over again.

iie wake Rizal up at 0600hrs and he went to have breakfast at abt 0615hrs. iie wanted hym to get me to bed again. But he said he got no tyme. Maybe his fwens are around, and he dun want hys fwens to know that he usually tuck me to bed. Didn't iie told euu that my boyfriend have changed?

*sigh*. iie miss my boyfriend. Can't he see that iie need hym now?
He's having hys half day today.
He just dun wanna grab the chance that are just in front of us.
He expect nort to meet me evewi week.
But little that he knows, actually he is making my love for hym become lesser.
Don't blame me if one day iie am taking back my love.

040210, 1152hrs; Rizal Going Taiwan.

2010-02-03T19:53:00.000-08:00

Taiwan, keep your eye on Rizal Salleh for me.

iie just put down the phone with Rizal. Ytd iie slept late after a long argue with hym. I didn't expect iie am a very difficult gf for hym to handle and iie am a very stubborn to listen to evewi thing he wants me to obey. But things are better now after iie called hym at 0800hrs to apologise.

Rizal texted me up at 1124hrs, telling me that he got a bad news for the both of us. iie phoned hym on the spot but he told me to call hym back later as he's having hys lunch. 30mins later, he phoned me back and told me maybe he's going Taiwan in the month of March or April for 3-4weeks. iie am nort surprised with this vacation bcoz it's normal for NS guys to go training at other countries such as Taiwan, Brunei and Australia.

Rizal and me talked abt how are we gonna manage ourself if he's going to Taiwan. iie told hym to trust me more. He can read my blog if he dun have the confident what iie am doing for that day. Blog is my only online diary that iie put all my feelings inside and iie truthfully tells evewitink iie did and what happened on that particular day.

iie am afraid, actually. iie cant bare to let Rizal be so far from me. But iie have to be professional. iie cant let hym see that iie am nort strong enuff and being so childish. Even thou he's far later, iie got lotsa hys pictures on my cellphone and in my wallet too, ryte? No big deal. (:

030210, 1346hrs; wakes up early.

2010-02-02T21:48:00.000-08:00

iie woke up at abt 1130hrs and washed my face and brushed my teeth. iie helped Granny to do the Kuih Tart and iie took my lunch. Granny cooked Chicken Curry today! *slurp*.

iie tried to phoned Rizal but cant get thru. iie guess hys hp must be flat. iie played with Baby Aiman, before iie log on this computer. Dydin(Burhan) asked me the direction to Tamp Mart. He's meeting hys fwen there to try out hys jersey. iie am going to Tamp Mart too, to trim my eyebrow. Guess we will terserempak later. Tamp Mart is nort that big, though. Okay, iie am having tummy ache!

iie need the toilet!
&&yeah, iie am schooling today! :S

020210, 1233pm; Running Nose, Pls Go Away!

2010-02-01T20:35:00.000-08:00

Sophia, Niza, Suhailah and me.

Hey guys. iie just wake up after sleeping at 0400hrs ytd. iie cant sleep due to the running nose that iie had and the words that are hurting me till now.

iie went to sch at 1740hrs and iie was lucky enuff that iie was nort late for school. iie sat with Suhailah, Niza and Sophia again. We discussed abt the remaining first worksheet that Mdm Rashidah gave us last week. Then we went for our 15mins break. iie followed Rynn & Lin to smoke. After getting back to class, Mdm Rashidah told us to work in pairs for the small project discussion on My Dream As A Teacher. iie worked with Suhailah and we were the most creative ones. We are able to go home after all groups have present their work in front of the class.

iie went home with Lin, Sophia, Suhailah and Niza, but took the green line with Lin and Sophia. iie reached home abt 2220hrs and phoned Rizal up. He asked me why iie reached home early and wat tyme iie end class. iie noe he dun trust me since we have this relationship but he's becoming more and more provoking.

He supposed to be sleeping for me but we ended up having cold shoulder now after he said, "Sial uh ko!", hung up the phone and didn't call back to say he's sowie or he didn't mean wat he said. Usually he did each tyme we argue. Maybe he dun feel the guilt in hym anymore. Or worst, maybe he's going to give up.

If he do wanna give up, pls do it before V'Day coz we've several plans for that particular day with Baby Aiman too. iie miss Rizal, iie cant deny. iie love hym, dats for sure. But if there's no miracle between us anymore, then we dun have to act as if that magical feeling is there.

010210, 1202hrs; on Tagged.

2010-01-31T20:03:00.000-08:00

To AlepSanchez,

MyHotComments

10 Years Of Friendship And Still Counting.

310110, 2011hrs; Pictures of Yesterday.

2010-01-31T04:11:00.000-08:00

Rizal forever with hys shyness.

My StarLight.

My One and Only.

Rizal & Mamat.

iie smoke 2 sticks a day now. ((:

Heylo people!

iie am at PokerFace.

While waiting for the guys to look for gerek pub.

Thanks to Rizal's fingers. -.-

310110, 1547hrs; Tired Eyes Yet Forced Not To Sleep.

2010-01-30T23:48:00.000-08:00

iie have ironed my siblings school uniforms, let Aiman go to sleep and do my course worksheets filing. Aizzah is beside me now, reading my post as well. What happen yesterday? *laugh*.

iie met Rizal and Fami at Queenstown MRT Stn. We then proceed to buy Bombay and Chivas at Serangoon. The Indians are having the Thaipusam Celebration if iie am nort wrong. The whole stretch of the road are filled with the Indian people with piercings. It freaked me out actually. Then we met Adi, AlipSanchi and Mamat at OrchardCentral. BellaDangdut and her fwens went to the ladies. Rizal and me were starving so we thot of having LJS. But we ate Hokkien Prawn Mee and Chicken Rice instead. When we came back to the place whr the guys were, Bella and her fwens were oready sitted. Trust me, it's so kecohrable because the guys and Mira(BellaDangdut's sister) played lotsa games. Euu lose, euu drink that liquor. Then while Rizal was talking with hys bros abt some serious stuffs, Bella, 3 of her fwens and me shared lotsa jokes, riddles and games too. iie cant stop laughing. It was so fun. Bella is 8mth preggy now. Tyme flies really fast, huh?

The girls went home by taking NR7. Left AlipSanchi, Mamat, Adi, Fami, Afik, Raz, Mike, Rizal and me. We dunno whr to go at first as Fami and Afiq were drunk. iie was supposed to be home by 0000hrs. Guess what tyme iie reached home? At 1430hrs, today! *laugh*. We went to PokerFace. It's kinda bored as one of the man there keep singing bored songs. But each tyme when there's no "karaoke sessions", the musics were groovy. iie danced with Rizal. iie cant forget how Rizal danced the Dhoom Machele song. He was so cute!

After pub, Rizal and me have a talk at SMU area. Then we went to have our sleep. We have our BanMian Chicken and Nasi Ayam Panggang at Century Square. Then we chill under my void deck, before iie went home. Rizal apologised Daddy one on one outside the house. iie just find it so gentleman and humble of hym. iie love hym. No deny.

Rizal, Nerly sowie abt the days when euu were at camp. We spent the whole week arguing abt small things. iie love euu, iie swear. Dun throw away the tissue paper that iie wrote at PokerFace. Thanks for the first sacrifise that euu did today. iie really appreciate it.

300110, 1748hrs; my feelings for boyfie turn really lost.

2010-01-30T01:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, can iie say iie hate my own boyfriend?
iie feel so suck now.
iie have oready get ready to go out when iie called Rizal.
iie asked hym whr he was. Still at hospital with Fahmi.
And guess wat? He want me to wait for hym at Jurong while he still waiting for Fahmi to end the X-Ray and dunno what time will it end.
The thing is my prepaid is totally $00.00 and how to know my whrabts and hys whrabts??
At last, he told me nort to tag along.
FCUK UP, RYTE??!

When iie dun wanna go, he called me to get ready.
When iie am abt to get out of the hse, he told me no need to come along.
iie am paranoid now.

He just text saying, "U wait at home dulu. i suru kua then u kua.. I'm sori, pe yg i janji pat u, i tunaikn. dun cry k? asap k.."
iie know he felt guitly. Let hym be!
He dun wanna treat me like hys girlfriend, then fine.
iie dun care anymore.

300110, 1555hrs; to go or nort to go?

2010-01-29T23:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, iie am in the clock.
iie dunno whether to go anort.
HELP ME!
If iie go, iie bet boyfie will laugh at me.
If iie dun go, boyfie's fwens will think that iie am a troublemaker.
BellaDangdut will tag along too.
iie wanna meet her.
It's been so long iie last saw her.
It was before the got pregnant and married to AlipSanchi.

Guess iie am going.
But wat tyme to get ready?
iie am still nort sure.
iie dun wanna call boyfie.
Let hym wait for me.

290110, 2145hrs; Caught boyfie AGAIN!

2010-01-29T05:45:00.000-08:00

CAUGHT BOYFIE'S DISHONESTY AGAIN!

now iie am keeping silent.
iie am nort gonna give in this tyme.
even thou iie have caught hym twice for dishonesty & forgiven hym, dun think the third one iie will forgive easily.
euu keep taking advantage each time iie give euu the chance.
your sentences are all jumbled up.
there's a Malay saying, "Menegak benang yang basah".
enuff of yesterday's arguments, today euu make me have a heartpain again.

P L E A S E , B O Y F I E .
iie am afraid iie cant be that strong to overcome all the shits dat euu did.
Spare a thot for me.

290110, 1254hrs; pictures.

2010-01-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

This was taken on Raya 2008.

My Tarian girls on the year 2006.

This is soo HISTORY!

Spot me??

2010-01-28T16:21:00.000-08:00

This is the Yakuza Moon book that iie have been wanting to read and know about.

290110, 0749hrs; Aiman's Up So Early.

2010-01-28T15:48:00.000-08:00

Good morning! (:

iie was up at 0600hrs to wake boyfie up. But Aiman was up too. iie have been trying to get hym back to slp. He's asleep now. *sigh*. It was "At last" to me! Haha. Boyfie just called 14mins ago, saying that he wanna fall in. Okay, iie am done abt this mawnink.

Yesterday iie met boyfie at Jurong East MRT Stn at abt 1200hrs after he went to NUH to take MC. iie am so worried abt hym. iie noe it's my fault.. iie am so, so sowie. iie have been a troublemaker all this while. *sigh*. iie just feel so guilty. Sowie again, baby.

We had a quarrel that lead me to go home without hym knowing. iie cant take hys rough jokes. It hurts me, actually. He promised, but he was the one doing it again and again. iie noe iie am a bit rough physically with my punches, pinches, slappings on ur body but iie will nort do that if he dun provoke. It's nort that iie dun gv hym the warnink. He just hack care with what iie said. So ended up, we have to give and take. We had lunch at hym hse after Mama left for work at abt 1500hrs. We watched TV and hys sister was awake by then. We then went to Jurong Library, to try borrowing Yakuza Moon story using boyfie's 11B. *laugh*. We noe it's impossible but iie "die-die" wanna try.

My NRIC can't be used as iie still haven't settle my fines. We can't find the book even thou we have oready searched on the computer and copied down the serial number. So we looked for other book. iie saw this Summer Love book and iie remembered iie borrowed it at Tampines Library. iie really enjoy that book. It's so thick yet very easy to understd. Nort so many big words. But then still iie can't loan the book. *sigh*.

We then went to IMM to have Sushi. That's our dinner. NanaShawty and Ray met us there. And guess who we saw?? BOY FROM SAPTO! Nort funny, okay??! Haha. It's sucha small world that Rizal know hym too. And it's so lucky that iie dun go relationship with hym because he's a father of 3 children!!

O M G .
Really iie can't believe it!

And guess who we saw next??
Wanie Kecik and Murai! *laugh*.
She was from work at Best Denki IMM and went to have dinner with Murai before they went home. iie updated Wanie abt my new number. And worst, Rizal's dad, lil'bro and lil'sister were there too! We shifted our sitting place without Wanie. *laugh*.

Boyfie sent me up to the MRT Stn and iie reached home nearly 2200hrs. iie talked with Aishah while waiting for the lift. Boyfie called me up when he was on hys way back to camp. iie settled my wardrobe! So damn messy and now evewi clothe, jeans and skirts are in place. Thank GOD! &&thanks to Baby Aiman for giving me the springcleaning! (: